“Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.” – Wayne Dyer
There are days lately I feel a bit guilty for all of the good fortune I have in my life. Many areas of my world, from my marriage, business, health, growth, family and friends all seem to be vibing high and consistently moving in a direction that supports my hopes and dreams. I consistently have to pinch myself when experiencing the too-good-to-be-true moments, wondering what I have done to deserve all these positive results.
I would like to tell you all of these outcomes were achieved by hard work and discipline, or by focusing on setting goals and achieving them as many of the success gurus would have you believe, but that would only be part of the story. The science of achievement has definitely been the focus for most of my adult life. Attempting to always coax more out of my physical body, and my personal and business worlds has taken up a considerable amount of my attention. It was abundantly clear to me that the world rewards winners; so focusing on success was my unconscious default in most areas of my life.
I know I am not alone, when I look at the news, popular shows, or social media there is a prevalent message of winners and losers from personal and business success stories to winning in politics to name a few. This access creates endless comparisonitis and a path of letting others or society tell you what is important and of value to you. I personally found out the hard way, that this can only lead to one place, depression and disconnection. In another word…disaster.
What I slowly discovered in the often-painful journey of achievement is that with this mindset there is never enough. With every new goal reached, there is always a new one to set, there is a constant built in need for more. Also when goals are not achieved there is a feeling of loss, a wholesale discount of everything accomplished because the end result was not realized. So this ongoing pursuit of success can often feel hollow and in the end produce the opposite result, feeling like you are never enough, always grasping, but never quite reaching the elusive rung of success.
Finally exhausted and fed up, about 10 years ago I started a shift of self-discovery. As I learned more I realized that I was often coming from a scarcity mindset, never enough, with small setbacks that felt like huge defeats, setting me up to living a life in fear. Being fearful had me taking everything personally or alternatively blaming others for their incompetence, raging against the world, and the unfairness of it all. Oscillating between negative self-talk and blaming others was spiraling me downward into the pit of almost constant self-doubt. No goals are worth this heavy price and I knew that this was not the type of life I wanted to live so slowly I invited more of the antidote of scarcity and fear into my life – the mindset of abundance.
“Why are you so enchanted by this world, when a mine of gold lies within you?” – Rumi
There is enough, love, money, experiences, good people, friends, jobs, challenges, you name it, there is more than enough to go around. My success is not your loss, and vice versa, it does not take losers to make winners in life. My life, right at this moment is enough and perfect in every way. What a powerful place to live from, like winning the lottery of life everyday.
For me slowly letting go of achievement and seeing the daily gift of abundance has been a conscious journey. I absolutely still love my goals, (this has not changed) setting and achieving them, so the challenge has been striking a balance of setting goals, but at the same time having a totally different experience with the results.
A goal not achieved and still a goal fulfilled, as there is way more to learn. Setting goals still helps me “tune in” and notice the gifts in that area of my life. Now when things don’t go as planned I can get excited, as there is a world of learning in a missed goal. What a new place to be, getting excited and curious when things don’t go as planned!
I am alive in this moment; everything that the world presents to me, good, bad, and challenging is abundance in different forms. Many of the things in the past that I would have defined as “bad” or “challenging” have created defining moments that have formed some of the best parts of who I am today. A resilient problem solver, an empathetic and loving person with a big heart.
The quote from Robin S. Sharma “What you focus on grows, what you think about expands, and what you dwell upon determines your destiny.” rings so true when I think about a mindset of abundance. Because it certainly rang true when I looked at life through the lens of scarcity. Instead of seeing my circumstances as less than, never enough, to seeing them as a gift, an opportunity for growth, learning, deeper connections, and compassion.
Don’t get me wrong; life is not all rainbows, sunshine, and unicorns. It gets super challenging at times (cough cough a pandemic). But shifting to a mindset of abundance, looking for opportunities even in the difficult moments, will allow a quick shift from going into stories of scarcity to embracing the gifts of growth, learning, and in some cases stepping into energetic leadership that tough times can often call for.
“The key to abundance is meeting limited circumstances with unlimited thoughts.” – Marianne Williamson
Dave Fyfe
Business Success Coach and Strategist
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